The Emperor’s Gambit

Teletubbies messed with the controls. You know, the buttons, knobs, and switches in the middle of their tubby hutch – it’s apparently the thing that controls all of Tubbyland and keeps them from starving or whatever. It makes them dance and roll around in convulsions on the floor. 

Barney kids did a play depicting “The Emperor’s Gambit”. You’ve never heard of the Emperor’s Gambit because you’re not a mercenary. It’s a common term applied to when a government won’t fall, you present the population with a “bait-and-switch” that’s so insidious that they think their govt pulled a fast one on them, causing lots of executions, riots and lawlessness in your wake. It’s interesting to see this presented on Barney. Your kids will surely grow up to be fascists.

Big Comfy Couch has Loonette and Granny forming an all-girls club where they apparently get naked and poke only their heads out of the tent to make sure no boys are around. Look for the out-takes video coming to adult fun stores everywhere!

Stupid commercial featuring some kid that pushes sports because it’s “awesome”. He’s not old enough to break the news to his parents that he’s gay yet – maybe next year’s thanksgiving dinner would be his time, but for now, let’s assume he’s just a normal kid that enjoys makeup, hair products, and walking around in shorts. He’s trying to teach kids how to swim. These directions seem way too convoluted to follow, even for me, an avid swimmer. 

He says you need to put one hand straight out, bending at the elbow, bringing it straight above your head and cupping your fingers while your other hand goes down by your side. Then you have to look straight ahead and bend your elbow down towards your other hand down by your side while your other hand propels you through the water like a dolphin. Okay, gotcha. He ends the one-minute lesson by saying “just remember, always keep looking up and keep your eyes ahead of you.” Good advice I guess, but it won’t keep you alive in the deep end.

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