Eating Eyeballs

I sometimes wonder if people in Teletubby Land ever hunt Teletubbies for sport. Horrible, you say? Maybe not. I mean, sure, they have cute mannerisms, they seem to be self-aware and display feelings like love, and… well love. But look into their eyes and you’ll see the cold emotionless gaze of a snake. If a Teletubby could kill and eat you as carrion, you’d know. They’d eat you without any emotion or regrets. So face it – it’s us or them, and if you don’t start shooting we’ll all end up as compost for the flowers, people.

As I was about to write about how much fun it would be to also hunt down Barney and his gang, Arcturo caught me in the eyeball with his beak again. If you own a Nanday Conure, watch your eyes. Look at any Pirate. You can always tell which shoulder his parrot sits on – it’s the side with the eye-patch.

He didn’t do it to be mean or anything, He was just having fun and doesn’t know any better, so I feel bad about reprimanding him over it. He knows he did something wrong, hid in his cage for a bit, but I’ve got to get it across to him that biting eyeballs is a bad thing. After I felt he sort of got the message, I sat with him and explained that he’s got to watch what he does on instinct, and stop before it happens. He’s gotten the idea since the last time he accidently hit me in the eye. I’ve seen him start to go for the eye, suddenly stop himself, and give me a big hug instead. He was so sorry and apologetic, so I forgive him. But now everything is blurry in my left eye, so there may be typos.

Anyway – it sure WOULD be fun to shoot Barney.

On Big Comfy Couch, Major Deadhead’s bedhead hair grew too long today, so he sang about it. He says people will think he’s trippin’ because of it. This is why we love Major Deadhead – he’s stoned. Compare and and contrast his character with the creepy, alcoholic Uncle Wiggly guy. Pot is good – booze is bad kids.

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