Language as a Medium for Suppressing Inspiration

Teletubbies watch a Mardi Gras parade, only it quickly becomes apparent this isn’t in Louisiana. It’s somewhere in England. I know this because none of the kids can express themselves creatively using their native language. Don’t get me wrong, I have absolutely NOTHING against being British, in fact I sometimes think their cockney accent is cute, in a John Lennon kinda way. But when your language doesn’t allow children to properly express themselves, your culture is dead. The most expressive thing any of the kids in this segment said was “Oy woof dwonna be a fwowah” (this kid is attempting to say “I was gonna be a flower” …or something like that – translated for you non-english speakers).

Another segment is about some Korean kids going to the zoo to see peacocks. Koreans obviously have more mastery over their language than the British do. These kids can’t say enough – expressive and creative thoughts being spoken like millions of fluttering cherry blossoms in a gentle breeze. I have no idea what the one kid said, but I imagine it was something along the lines of “My friends and I are going to the national zoo to see the many wonderful animals, play games and learn a few things about the many diverse creatures of the world!” Translated into british-speak, that would be “Gor blymie, wot’s dat yew wonkah.”

Barney has to explain the difference between ducks and fish to the retarded dinosaur gang. “Ducks live on top of the water and fish live underneath the water” sez Barney. That’s kind of like saying “Birds live on top of the wind and people live under it.” He’s considered the smart one of the group. 

I’ve noticed a complete lack of kids in Barney shows lately. No more kids, except as background decoration – it’s all about Barney and his mentally deficient puppets now. Maybe it’s a budget thing. Arcturo thinks maybe the kids weren’t bringing viewership up for their demographic audience. He imagines their demographic consisting of other puppets and birds, so this might be a myopic observation on his part. I think they’ve just run out of pre-molested preacher’s kids to blackmail into robotic dance routines.

Loonette’s show today is about “Traveling Papers” – something kids need to get used to in this environment of Homeland Security. She concludes that traveling through your imagination is safer. An astute observation, since traveling through airport security will likely get you strip searched and butt-raped before they send you home without a refund for not being the kind of people they like on their airplanes.

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