Keep Your Hands Out Of Your Pockets!

Teletubbies do the jumpy dance. It’s easy and anybody can join along – just jump like us! I’m past the jumping age and interestingly enough, Arcturo is too gravity deprived to get much air-time on his jumps without using his wings.  And besides that, he’s against anything that makes him leave the security of being perched on my finger for even a split second. The Nu-nu hates it too. Not having knees, he’s pissed that he can’t join the fun, so he takes it out on them by swatting them in the heads with his chromium plated vacuum hose schnozzle. It doesn’t kill them, but it puts them down for a while, twitching spasmodically on the floor. Good Nu-nu.

The “gang” on Barney decide to go to the zoo. Thing is, for some reason the animals won’t be there for a week. Presumably due to issues at the homeland security fascist checkpoint turnstiles at the airports. Never know, an elephant can carry enough TNT up his ass to level Noah’s Ark, so it’s better to be safe than sorry, right citizen? Besides, if the elephant has nothing up his ass, he should have no complaints about us taking a look up there just to be sure, right?

Well they wait a whole week, but now all of a sudden they’ve forgotten all about the zoo. I may be old, but I still have a fairly decent attention span. I wanted to see animals, dammit! I don’t know, maybe I blinked and missed it. Now they’re riding tricycles and bikes. Griff is showing off again, and rails headlong into a tree, wrapping B.J.’s scooter around the trunk. The reality of the situation sets in – it’s too much for Griff to deal with and he sings his panic-attack song “Oh oh oh what a big mistake!” while he sorts out the implications of his wreck. It’s gonna cost him big money he figures. So he lays out all his stolen merchandise to fence to the rest of the gang.

A “cool teen” comes to the sale slinging hipster slang “Man, I love the sound of a digeridoo!” He wants to buy it for his cool band. Of course, he has absolutely no money, but he’s got an idea. He gets all mysterious creepy and says “I’ll be back later” and off he goes. B.J. comes by all bummed out by the fact that his main ride has been trashed. The others recognize that he’s having his own private pity-party, so Griff says “Hey, take anything here you want Beej!” So B.J. announces “HEY ERRYBUDDY! GRIFF’S GIVING AWAY ALL HIS SHIT!” and everyone comes and helps themselves to Griff’s stuff. Griff’s having a very bad day at this point. The cool teen brings a stolen scooter to trade for the digeridoo. YAY! Nobody asks where the cool teen got the scooter from. It all works out and I guess Griff won’t have to hang himself over the whole incident.

Big Comfy Couch is about falling, and (incidentally one of Arcturo’s major tricks) dropping things on the ground. He was entranced by this. If there was an “All dropping all the time” network, he’d be tuned in all day. The big lesson for today is – don’t have your hands in your pockets when you fall on your face. Very good advice, especially as you get older. Arcturo worries that he doesn’t have pockets to put his hands into, and I have to explain that, no, the object is to NOT have your hands in pockets, but he’s still going to worry about it.

MAjor Deadhead falls on his ass and says it’s a good thing he didn’t have his hands in his pockets. They play “Ring Around The Rosie” but instead of saying the line “Ashes, ashes…” they replaced the words with “Husha-husha” for some obscure reason. Major Deadhead has another killer song in this episode “Down, Down, Down”. If he had never done the “Squirmy Liar” song (see previous post), this one would be among his top hits.

Loonette and Molley take a bath. Don’t get your panties in a bunch you kiddie pervs, Loonette is a “Rag Doll Clown” which means she takes a bath fully clothed. Sorry if some of you are disappointed – you have filthy minds. Molley gets nude though. Some full frontal scenes here guys! Dolly porn!

Loonette reads a bastardized tale of Humpty-Dumpty. In her version Humpty-Dumpty is showing off, dancing on the wall with his hands in his pockets. Of course, you know what happens. Yep, off he goes, hands in pockets all the way down. Arcturo checks to see if there’s any way he can make pockets in his feathers to put his hands into, just in case. I don’t think he gets it.

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