Stop Looking at My iPod!

Today, while Arcturo watched Teletubbies and Barney by himself, I pondered UFOs, so I can only tell you about Big Comfy Couch today. But to make it up to you, I’ll unceremoniously jump off-topic in mid-stream and start talking about UFOs. You like UFOs, right?

On Big Comfy Couch, Loonette went to visit Granny Garbonzo to get her duck fixed. Lucky for her, Uncle Wobbly was there. Apparently he’s not related to Loonette – she just calls him “uncle” – we all know why. He’s been hitting that old granny snatch. The guy is your average old pervert type, all wiggly and nervous when he talks to anything with genitalia. He calls Granny his little “Chick Pea”, and uncomfortably fondles Loonette when nobody is around. Granny used her female whiles on him, offering him some free Turnip Borscht if he fixes the hole in her pot. Uh-huh, so that’s what the clowns are calling it these days. Of course the pervert takes full advantage of the offer by scarfing it all up before anybody else gets to eat. They all know the guy is a sicko, but they tolerate it since he fixes things.

And without any segue whatsoever – allow me to merrily hop-scotch over to the subject of UFOs.

You’ve heard the theories – some people say UFOs are actually secret air force stealth airplane technology. The theory is, since these planes are SO FAR ADVANCED, any person seeing it immediately assumes it is alien, and they run screaming to the newspaper.

I think we all know what an airplane looks like by now. Even if they disguise the freakin’ thing as a flying hotdog bun with teeth, we’d still be able to look at it and say “hey, that’s an airplane that looks like a flying hotdog bun with teeth”.

A popular movie recently, titled “What the (BLEEP) Do We Know”, postulated that when the Spanish invaded South America, the indigenous tribes couldn’t even SEE the ships that were right in front of their faces – simply because the technology of shipbuilding was so alien to them that they couldn’t even SEE the ships. I’m serious – that’s what they said. Because the indians were so backwoods, the ships were invisible! They saw water, clouds, horizon, but no ships – just the wake behind them.

It’s an interesting exercise to flex your imagination to the point of believing that.

Before the iPod came out, nobody knew what it looked like (except for a few Apple insiders). When Steve Jobs unveiled it onstage, we saw it. We could look at it and see an iPod. We didn’t see an empty table, blind to something sitting there we’d never seen before.

So I guess the moral of this story is – if you see something you’ve never seen before, don’t panic. I recently made a custom case for my iPod with velcro on the back so I can hang it on my car’s dashboard. I’m pretty sure I’m the only person who’s seen this kind of iPod case, and I don’t want anybody thinking aliens are crawling out of my ass when I have it attached to my belt loop.

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